My heart fell on the floor today, I'm not really sure how to take what I've been given. "You don't care about your violin."
Is what she said, I felt really numb. I'm sort of at a standstill here, I got advice from a great violinist K. She's really awesome, she told me to take 15 minutes breaks in between homework so that I can get in practice and get my mind on something completely different and switch it up a little bit. It's an awesome idea. I was a little shocked at the way that my my private lessons teacher jumped at me. I know that Professor H. really wants me to give it my all and stop doing things without a purpose. I've been going about my practices all wrong. Trying to rush through them all. I'm not even spending the time that I need on my pieces right now. I'm so frustrated ARGH !! I was told many times before. If you ever need anything just ask. I'm not scared to ask this person for help, I still have feeling for this person and I don't want that to get in my way and distract me. But I also want to develop a good relationship with this person because I feel in the long run we could be the best of friends. I'm really afraid that things are going to be difficult for me here at School. I really want to push and give it my all and put forth that great effort that I know ! So why am I hold myself back? Am I afraid that I will not be successful in my endeavors. Now my right wrist is feeling VERY funny. It hurts like it's really sore, as well as my left hand my fingers feel awkwardly weird when I play incorrectly. Even though I fix my position it still bothers me a bit. I feel like I'm drowning right now. But I'm going to take that nap and wake up soon. Wish me luck guys~ <3
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