REALITY Check

Codename: Red
So I was talking to red and I asked him a simple question with reason. If you want to take pictures of me. How do you think your current girl friend would feel about it. Would she do it too? Would it not bother you?
Why get upset and not admit it to yourself. Wouldn't you be upset if your girlfriend took pictures of the dudes that were her friends? I hate to say it but I've matured to much. Red is stuck in a place where I can't reach him. It sucks because....I still have feelings for RED but it bothers me the most that he can't except his feelings. If someone were to flip the script on red.

College

So far everything has been very stressful, even though I don't have a boyfriend right now I'm dealing with things very well. I'm beginning to think, I need to practice my violin more often. I want to make it sing sweet music. Is that wrong ? Well, right now I'm outside enjoy some time with Ellis ! <3 I really wish the moon was out tonight, I want to see it's shimmering glow of light. I can here the geese calling out, what are they trying to do mate ? xD I would not want to be around when that happens there's just no way I could stand for it. They already leave enough crap about the place ! Seriously. Tonight is going to be amazing, I'm going to  study like there's no tomorrow !!

Nature is so relaxing I need to do this more often !!

Tsuki

There is no moon tonight. This breaks my heart to think that the sky is so dark.
When is the light going to pull out of these dark times. How much I want to love. How much I want to be kissed by the moonlight. I've been thinking recently. Maybe I need to find a way to express myself more. I love it when the days are long and the sun doesn't go down until 7pm. The nights seemed so short to me when I was younger. But honestly I can say that each day I get stronger with time.
Even though I can't really control my smile around him.
It seems to happen before I can take it back. I wish things would go back to the way they were. Before I even met him, I wish that I could treated my first love better. I wish that he was my first. I wish that I could have went about things differently...

Work

T.T Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh everybody was so loud today. But the next time, I know how to handle it. I'm going to have hush them up. A. had to come in and yell at them. I really really want to keep this job. Must up my A game completely. Sensei !!! I'm fighting !!!
Chu~ <3

My great friend

I'll start my night off by saying. "Stalker"- someone that frightens you. I don't want to become this person. I need to find someone else to like and drop it all together. My Friend said if I don't, I could be headed down that path. With a smile on my face. This scares the SHIT out of me. I needed to get that off my chest. Now I'm going to start doing homework. World Geography tomorrow so I'm going to really push tonight.

Learn something new everyday

He told me....to live in the present.
Surprisingly enough, I thought it was funny because it's what should have been doing all along.
So I think tomorrow will bring something good. My father doesn't really like me. I always holding onto unnecessary things. I really do need to apologize to the people in my life and tell them that I forgive me.
I'm glad that I've learned something so important today.
He never asks about my family, or how I'm doing. He doesn't really need a reason to does he, because he's not in my life right now like I thought he would be. I wonder if I can take that to heart. If I can truly except it. The negativity is what I have to control. I've always gotten. "Why are you always so negative." 
The only thing I can think to do, is chant to forgive people who have hurt me. As well as move on with my life the right way. Haha, what do you think. Am I a good daughter to you? Do you like me? Am I what you've always wanted in a child?

Thinking of Music

Singing Paramore. Find that I'm getting better and better with the lyrics each day. Trying to find a way to sing it that... can more my audience to a great deep emotion. There was this guy that I once liked, I found out that he wasn't the one for me. I'm glad though, because now I don't have to waste my time with filling my head up with thoughts of him. Ellis would be so proud of me. I wish him the best of luck with whatever person he goes after. He deserves to be extremely happy.