Orchestra is sooooo difficult. I'm struggling just to play all the right notes. I've been playing for year and a half but it truly doesn't feel like it's getting better. The only thing that's getting better is my heart. Letting go is a bit easier. I'm still thinking about my first boyfriend, he was no prince charming really, he didn't know the first thing about love. I want to find someone who can love me for me, at least that's what I thought. When it comes to my music it cheers me up a lot, maybe that's why I practice so much. But right now I feel that even though I do practice, it's not nearly enough. I want to get better, I want to be able to play better than my stand partner. That's my goal right now.
Still thinking about the fact that he's been playing longer than me, I want to grow rapidly. I want to become great over night, I want to be able to break through anything, without having a single doubt in my mind. When am I going to get my head together and really push myself to do better than I ever could. I want to excel in everyday that I do, I want to be able to accomplish everything. I don't want to give in when things look dark. I really want to become better than yesterday.
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