Songs, seems to reach my soul. Anberlin really comes first in my life because it's speaks so many truths about my high school days. It's extremely scary how I can picture myself within the songs experiencing the feelings and emotions of my pain all over again. I honestly believe that it's amazing. Been thinking about the guys within my life right now. I don't like the way that they treat me, yelling and screaming to me about what they think of me. Don't place your problems on me, just because you haven't learned how to express your true feeling. Cry it out if you must.
This band can speak to me about my first love. I'm beginning to wonder how they do it!!! Right now, I'm still single which bothers me deeply. I really want to give it my all with my school work and push to get to my ultimate goal. Still trying to get over this guy, it's CRAZY mad. I see him everyday just about. Sometimes I get tired of seeing something I can't have. Is that wrong?? So I try not to say much or speak because sometimes it hurts me so bad I can't control my mouth. So I say things that I normally wouldn't say because I don't know how to handle the feelings of reject. Silly I know.
On top of that I...think I still need more time to heal my wounds from my first encounter. Maybe loves not meant for me right now. Maybe I'd be better off if I didn't think of Men at all. I'd be better off if I didn't think of sex or just the company of a man. I think I need to have a break, because right now my biggest problem is. I just know how to just be friends with a guy. I can come right out and say it. I'm not sure who's reading this right now. But as you can see I'm throughly fucked up. I see this happening to myself, like I'm watching a movie or something. But I honestly don't want to hurt someone, or myself. This is my problem these love interests...
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